


Nobody Panic, Everything's Fine

by itsallAvengers



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cheating, Domestic Avengers, Domestic Fluff, Don't worry, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Feels, Fluff and Angst, God fucking dammit, Hurt Steve Rogers, Hurt/Comfort, Jealous Steve Rogers, M/M, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Oblivious Tony Stark, Original Character(s), Possessive Steve Rogers, Relationship(s), Steve Rogers Feels, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Why don't these dumb boys just TALK, author doesn't know how to science, but not really, so many feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-05
Updated: 2017-02-08
Packaged: 2018-09-22 06:56:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9589733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsallAvengers/pseuds/itsallAvengers
Summary: Steve doesn't get jealous. He doesn't. Honestly.It's just...well- Tony's been spending an awful lot of time with a new employee. Who's smarter than him. And funnier. And more interesting and generally a better match for Tony than he ever would be.But he's not jealous. Honestly.





	1. Chapter 1

Steve had never considered himself to be a possessive sort of man. He had his principals, and would never just let anyone take whatever they wanted, of course; but he wasn’t weird about it.

At least- he hadn’t been. Now, he wasn’t quite so sure.

It was stupid, anyway. Tony was a _businessman_. He had to talk and laugh and schmooze with everyone- it was part of his job. And Steve was fine with that. He really was. It didn’t matter if Tony went around the whole room and flirted with everyone there, because at the end of the day Steve knew that it was his bed Tony would come back to, and no one else’s. He didn’t doubt that.

But damn- that new Head of R&D Tony had hired for SI was getting on his fucking nerves.

He’d only been hired a few weeks ago- some kid, barely above twenty five, with dark hair and glasses and that sort of cute nerdy look about him that he _knew_ Tony would appreciate. Steve had been there when the guy had waltzed into Tony’s office- all confidence and grins and an outstretched hand as he introduced himself as ‘Jasper the Tech Guy’ and then laughed like he’d just said the funniest thing in the world.

But Steve had smiled and shaken his hand, because back then this hadn’t been an issue. Back then ‘Jasper the Tech Guy’ was just some other employee.

But then Jasper had started speaking. It was computer-talk, and so Steve sort of zoned out for a few minutes, happy to just let it all wash over him as it very usually did. But as he focused back in again, he noticed the way that Tony was looking. He seemed… _enthralled_ by something or another. His eyes were positively glowing with excitement, and he was staring at Jasper with a sort of pleasant surprise on his face.

It was Jasper’s expression that irked him, though.

He was leaning forward over the desk, hands holding up his head as he positively gazed at Tony, outright awe written all over his face. Which was normal- Steve had seen it on pretty much every employee when they met with Tony. But there was something deeper there, Steve was sure of it. Something more than just admiration. He could see it in his body language, in the over-pronounced laughs at Tony’s dumb puns.

It hadn’t bothered him. A lot of people were far more obvious about it than ‘Jasper the Tech Guy’ was- Steve was used to watching people blatantly push themselves up into Tony’s space or whisper in his ear, as if they could persuade Tony into their bed with empty promises and sweet nothings.  
He was also used to Tony swiftly moving away and then making very loud and obvious comments about ‘his boyfriend Captain America,’ whom he had to go and meet with immediately.

Watching Tony stare at the spot Jasper had just vacated with a surprised little pout on his lips- well, Steve wasn’t quite used to that.

“Damn. That kid’s smart. Did you hear what he was saying about how changing literally, like, one line of coding in the algorithm I created to conserve energy in the tower could actually boost our savings by 8%? That’s… phenomenal, really- how did I not think of that-“ Tony rambled for a good few minutes, the same look of happiness on his face that meant he was coming up with something fabulous in his head, and Steve forgot about Jasper, because really, it wasn’t a big deal. Tony was excited and smiling and that was all that mattered. He’d probably never even see the guy again.

 

**

 

Except he does. Many, many times.

 

**

 

“Um- hey, is Tony here? He said to meet him in his office, but…”

“Yeah, he’s not back yet. Should be in a few minutes, though,” Steve says, smiling as Jasper walked in and made himself at home on one of the chairs, dropping his satchel on the floor with a thud and grinning up at Steve.

They were both at SI headquarters again- Steve was waiting for Tony to finish up so that he could take him out for lunch. He neither knew nor particularly cared about why Jasper had showed up.  
“So, you’re The Great Hero Captain America, huh?”

“I am, yeah- probably not quite the ‘hero’ everyone paints me to be, but I do try.”

Jasper was quiet for a moment, looking Steve up and down thoughtfully, before shrugging. “Eh. I prefer Iron Man anyway.”

Usually, Steve would be fine with that. God knows Tony had enough self-confidence issues to last a man two lifetimes, and Steve was happy to have people prefer Iron Man over Captain America if it meant it would put a smile on Tony’s face.

But not this time. This one felt wrong. Jasper was looking at him with a sort of knowing little grin, and Steve guessed that it wasn’t just the suit of armour he preferred.

“Why’re you here? Tony got a job for you?” Steve asked, making polite small, because that’s just the kind of guy he was. He wasn’t going to make a huge deal out of someone’s crush, even if they were being rather…crude about it.

“Well, actually, I was going to suggest another idea to him and he asked me if I wanted to do it over lunch, so here I am,” Jasper was doing that stupid smug grin again, leaning back on the chair and locking his fingers together. Steve wanted to do something petty, like break the chair legs he was leaning back on with a sweep of his legs and watch the little shit as he fell on his ass.  
But that was impolite. So he refrained.

He opened his mouth to say that actually, he and Tony were going out to lunch, so if he could kindly fuck off, everyone would appreciate it; but before the words could leave his throat Tony blustered in, looking as haphazard as always, a cup of coffee hanging off his mouth to leave room for his hands, which were both full of briefcases and various papers.

He stared blankly at both him and Jasper for a few seconds, before swearing under his breath.

“Fuck. I double booked my lunch again, didn’t I?”

Jasper laughed, and Steve just rolled his eyes fondly. Despite Tony’s genius, the man was absolutely useless as everyday tasks, like scheduling and remembering which meetings he’d set up with who.  
“Jasper, listen, I’m really sorry, but I’m gonna have to meet with you another time, I’m going to lunch with Steve and I was totally out of it when you asked for another meeting-“

Steve watched as Jasper’s face fell. “Oh, Tony, that’s too bad. I’m gonna be super busy over these next few weeks and I’m not sure if I’m gonna even have time for another meeting…”

And then it was Tony’s face that fell a little, biting his lip and looking to Steve almost imploringly. “Dammit- Steve, I know I said I’d be free, but I think Jasper’s really on to something and I really don’t want to miss out, you can come with us if you want-“

And a part of Steve did really, really want to go. Just to be petty and wipe that smile off Jasper's face. But Steve knew this was important to his boyfriend, and he wasn’t going to let some stupid spike of possessiveness get in the way of Tony’s work.

“Hey, don’t worry about it,” Steve interrupted him with a wave of his hand, standing up and walking toward Tony before grabbing the coffee out of his mouth, “go to your meeting. It’s fine, I know you’re busy right now. Just gotta promise you’ll make it up to me at home,” Steve said the last part a little louder than intentional, and finished off by curling his hand around the back of Tony’s neck and pulling him in for a kiss, nipping ever so slightly on the bottom of Tony’s lip in a way that he knew would make the man weak at the knees.

Tony dropped everything he was holding in order to wrap his hands around Steve’s waist and loop his fingers into the belt-loops of his jeans. Usually this sort of PDA was saved for their friends in the tower- but in this instance, Steve was happy to give Jasper a show.

Just so he was aware.

Breaking away after a few seconds, Steve smiled cheekily and placed the Styrofoam coffee cup back in Tony’s mouth. “I’ll be waiting for you,” he called out with a wave, as he sauntered down the hall.  
He heard Tony splutter behind him, and he could see Jasper’s put-out look from the reflection in the glass opposite him. Steve counted it as a win.

 

**

 

Over the course of the next few weeks, Steve slowly grew to hate ‘Jasper the Tech Guy’.

‘Jasper the Tech Guy’, who was always somehow managing to interrupt him and Tony’s spare time, and drag him away with promises of ‘science’ and ‘invention.’

‘Jasper the Tech Guy’ who would shoot longing looks at Tony’s back, and seemed to get a kick off actually doing it while Steve was present.

‘Jasper the Tech Guy’ who kept finding excuses to _touch Steve’s boyfriend,_ or to _go out and eat with Steve’s boyfriend,_ always taking the time to look at Steve as if he were perfectly aware of what he was doing before pulling Tony away by the hand and clamouring that he needed help to solve some stupid equation or whatever.

And Tony- Tony was getting caught up in it. Steve knew how curious Tony was, and how much he loved talking to someone who was actually almost smart enough to keep up with him. Jasper was probably fascinating to him. Even Bruce had admitted that the guy was sharp.

“A complete and utter asshole. But a clever one,” Bruce had added.

It hadn’t helped eased Steve’s feelings much.  
Because the worst thing was, Tony didn’t _see it._ He could be so incredibly dense when it came to other people’s feelings about him, it was insane. He just thought that the guy was an enthusiastic scientist. This was, unfortunately, true. Tony had been practically singing about how ‘Jasper worked out this’ or ‘Jasper fixed this problem’ on and off for weeks now.  
And Steve knew that he was overthinking it. He knew that it wasn’t as constant as he made it out to be. He and Tony lived together, for god’s sake; they had hours and hours of free time.

But this had picked on a weak spot of Steve’s, for some reason, and he couldn’t rid the feeling that… well, Tony had found someone more interesting. More intelligent, who actually got what Tony was saying and could pique Tony’s interest in ways that Steve just couldn’t.

 

He wasn’t an idiot. He knew that. But Tony… _god,_ Tony’s mind wasn’t just on a different level- it was another world entirely. And Steve could barely keep up with the average 21st century citizen.  
He was terrified that Tony was going to leave him behind entirely one day.

 

Sighing in frustration, Steve turned around in bed and pulled Tony into his chest, feeling Tony’s hands as they instinctively wrapped around his torso. It was three a.m. and even Tony was fast asleep- but Steve’s mind was thinking too much to possibly relax.

“What is it, baby?” Tony whispered a few seconds later, his fingers stroking lightly against Steve’s back, “You’re tense as fuck and your heartbeat’s goin’ crazy,”

 _Good god,_  Steve loved him. So, so much.

“Nothing. I’m sorry I woke you, honey, go back to sleep,” Steve pressed a kiss into the fluffy dark hair under his chin and then leant his head against Tony’s.

He still had him, for now. And he was going to savour every moment of it.

“Sure?” Tony mumbled, his lips moving against Steve’s sternum and sending an involuntary shiver up his spine.

“Sure.”

Steve felt the warmth as Tony pressed a sleepy kiss against his chest, “love you,”

“I love you too, Tony.” _Please don’t leave me._

 

_Please._

 

**

 

“Hey Steve, listen- I can’t talk right now, I’ve got to get back to work real soon; Jasper’s just thought of an idea and I really can’t stop now- I might not make it home tonight, we’re still working in the lab. Oh, and if you see Bruce, tell him to haul ass over here; he’s not answering his phone and we could use his help. I’ll see you later,” Tony babbled, before hanging up the phone.

Steve hadn’t even been able to say hello

 

**

 

“So what is it you two are working on?” Steve asked, trying to make some small talk when he walked in on, once again, Jasper lounging around Tony’s office, fiddling with a Rubik’s Cube in his hands.

"Not something you'd understand, buddy,"

Steve bristled, immediately biting back a scathing retort with a great amount of effort.

“Try me,” he said instead, smiling as sweetly as he could manage and clenching his fists tightly behind his back.

“Listen- if what Tony tells me is anything to go by- you really wouldn’t get it. And no offence, but I don’t really have time to try and teach you basic physics, I’ve got to get back down to the lab and give this back to Tony,” Jasper waved a briefcase bursting full of papers in the air, “it’s the only reason I’m out at all- we’re getting pretty busy down there,” Jasper waved him off, tossing his stupid Rubik’s Cube back on the desk where it _didn’t belong,_ before jumping to his feet and wiggling his eyebrows at the innuendo.

It made something deep and primal flutter awake, low in Steve’s gut; something that wanted to just throw stupid fucking ‘Jasper the Tech Guy’ right out of the window and then take Tony back to the tower and make him his- mark him as his own and then keep going until Tony couldn’t ever even think of anyone else without being brought back to the memories of Steve, and Steve alone.

“I’d seriously watch it, if I were you,” Steve stated blandly, his voice still unnervingly polite as he began to turn his heel and walk out the door again.

Jasper gave him a long, calculating look- as if he were deciding whether he was going toe-to-toe with Steve would be worth the risk. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means, I’m a 6’2 super-soldier with strong principals and no compunctions about clocking assholes on the nose if they piss me off. Watch your step, kid,” Steve smiled, giving Jasper a lazy salute before turning out of the door.

 

Deep down, however, he was pretty sure a piece of his heart had just broken.

 

 _'If what Tony tells me is anything to go by, you really wouldn’t get it.'_  
So it was true. Tony thought he was stupid. And in comparison, Steve guessed he was.

Steve took a deep breath, running a hand across his face and holding back the overwhelming urge to put his hand through a wall.

 

**

 

 _God._ Science was hard.

 

Steve was sat in the little library in one of the corners of the tower, science and math books stacked high on the table he was working at. He’d been sat there for hours, he was hungry as fuck, and he no longer had any feeling in his ass.

And he was trying to learn stuff that Tony probably knew when he was _six._

Steve sighed, and shut the book with more force than necessary, throwing it back down on to the table.

God, he was being so _stupid._ It was almost as if he were watching himself, looking from the outside in, and he could _see_ that this was dumb.

But Tony was at SI, and as Steve had left Tony after his lunch break, he’d watched as Jasper had _winked_ back at him before shutting the door in his face.  
Steve had never wanted to punch a civilian so hard before in his life.

 

Groaning in annoyance, Steve leaned back on his chair and moodily threw each book back on to the shelf. This was obviously going nowhere; he’d always been shit at learning from books, anyway.

 

“So what’s with the sudden desperation to be a nerd coming from?” Clint opened the door with a loud bang, making an entrance as usual as he spotted the pile of books that were now teetering off the edge of the table.

Steve shrugged, thinking of an answer that didn’t sound pathetic. “Wanted to catch up on everything in the 21st century, didn’t I? Science is a part of that.”

“Dude. You’re literally dating the smartest guy in the world. Why don’t you just ask him?”

 _Because I don’t want to remind him of how stupid and boring I am_ “He’s really busy right now- working on some big project with Jasper and Bruce.”

At the name of Jasper, Clint rolled his eyes and made a face. Steve felt rather inclined to agree.

“God, that guy’s an asshole. He only acts all nice when he’s around Tony, every other instance, he’s just a dick. But Tony just gets all weird and defensive with me when I try and tell him. I don’t know why, he’s got a weird thing for him,”

It was a bad choice of words. Steve winced automatically, immediately trying to stifle it once he became aware, but too late. Clint had noticed, and he was raising his eyebrows in surprise.

“You don't think… nah, Tony would never do that. Not to you,”

“I know that. I know,” Steve hastened to reply, shutting his eyes, “it’s just… I really don’t like Jasper. That’s all,”

And he _did_ know. Tony would never cheat on him; despite what everyone thought, he just wasn’t capable of it.  
He wasn't.

It seemed Clint sensed Steve’s worry, because he gave him a reassuring nudge with his shoulder and grabbed for his arm. “Steve- don’t ever doubt Tony’s infatuation with you. I know he shows it weirdly and acts in ways that none of us, not even you can understand, but damn; if there is one thing I know for sure about Tony Stark, it’s that he loves you. This is just some weird new phase of his- I don’t know, but he’ll get bored soon."

_Of Jasper, or of me?_

Steve sighed, and gave his friend a weary smile. “Yeah. I know. Listen, Clint, I’m gonna call it for tonight. It’s… it’s been a long day,”

Clint gave him a long, observing look that made Steve feel uncomfortably exposed. “If it’s bothering you, just talk to him-“

“It’s really not,” Steve snapped, “Clint, just... let it go. I’m okay, honestly,” he smiled, and attempted to shut down the tiny voices that were beginning to creep up in the back of his mind.

Everything was fine. Tony did this a lot- he tended to be around a little less when he was preoccupied with a new project. He wasn’t pulling away. Steve needed to stop worrying. He was good enough for Tony- and Tony loved him.

 

Everything was fine.

 

 

 

**

 

 

 

Everything wasn’t fine.

 

 

Steve stared numbly out across the grass from his spot on some bench in central park, feeling the bitter sting of December wind hit his cheeks. It was raining lightly, making Steve’s skin damp and cold, but he didn’t notice. It didn’t matter.

God. He was pretty sure he was going insane.

Steve had done _everything._ He’d showered Tony with affection, paid special attention when he was talking and made sure to listen intently to everything he said. He _knew_ that he could be a better boyfriend; he knew he should at least try and contribute when Tony was rambling about his science, or not be so pushy and demanding. And seriously, he’d been trying _so hard._

But Tony was still spending so much of his time with Jasper. In fact, everything Steve was doing only seemed to worry his boyfriend, which was definitely not the intention.

 

“Steve, you’ve gotta tell me what’s going up in there,” Tony had told him anxiously, tapping gently against Steve’s temple with his knuckle, “You’re not shutting me up when I’m talking shit- you haven’t forced me into eating for at least three days, but I can tell it’s killing you. I’ve had to eat like, three square meals a day just to keep that tortured look off your face while you open and shut your mouth like a damn goldfish. What’s wrong?”

“Tony- I don’t… you don’t think that I think you talk shit, right? I’m… everything you think of is brilliant, I don’t want you to think I don’t appreciate it, that’s all,”

“ _Steve,_ ” Tony had given him a long, slightly confused look, “I just spoke for twenty-seven minutes about what sort of underwear I thought the team wore. And you didn’t tell me to quit being weird _once._ Please, babe, tell me what you’re thinking,” Tony moved his hand to the back of Steve’s neck, pulling him down, and Steve had gone willingly, unable to stop himself from curling around Tony desperately and shutting his eyes against his lover’s neck, feeling the beautiful familiarity that surrounded him as they embraced.

He wanted this for the rest of his life. But he was watching as it slipped through his fingers, and he felt helpless.

Steve clutched Tony tightly against his body, hearing the other man start muttering in worry and stroke the hairs on the back of his neck. But Steve hadn’t answered; not wanting it to end. Not yet.

Eventually, though, he tuned back in when he heard Tony start vocalising some of the darker parts of his thought process, and Steve noticed in horror that Tony was shaking slightly underneath him.

“Baby, _please_ , talk to me. Oh my God, are you dying? What happened- is it something I did? I don’t… is it Rhodey? Pep? Has something- oh, fuck, has something happened to them-“

“No Tony, _God no,_ ” Steve had said quickly, pulling his head back from Tony’s neck to look him in the eye. “It’s not anything like that, I swear. Everyone’s fine.”

But Tony had started looking anxious again anyway, worrying at his bottom lip and furrowing his brow into a V-shape, and Steve felt even worse for seeing it; guilty that he had managed to set Tony on edge whilst trying to make himself feel better. That wasn’t how it was supposed to work- Steve was doing it _all wrong._

 

 

Even that hadn’t been as bad as today, though.

 

 

Steve closed his eyes, leaning forward until his face was resting in his hands and taking a few deep breaths to try and stop the shaking of his hands.

It had been a standard morning. Everyone was sat around the table, arguing and laughing and being their usual loud selves. Steve was stood at the counter, preparing more bacon to feed his team with and looking at Tony in amusement as he slumped over the table, clearly exhausted. He’d only stumbled back in an hour or so ago, after another night full of working, and it was obvious that his boyfriend was not up for conversation as of yet. On autopilot, Steve had begun making a black coffee, huffing out an amused little laugh when Tony began smelling it in the air and immediately perked his head up, absolutely beaming up at Steve as he slid it across the table.

It had been _good_. _Normal._  
And then suddenly, it wasn’t.

 

 

**

 

 

“Hey… I hope I’m not interrupting anything,” a voice called out from behind them, and at once all six of them were on high-alert, Natasha doing so much as to reach out for the gun that she always kept under the table in preparation for an attack.

Because all six of them were in the room, and no one else ever came up at this time.

 

Except, apparently, Jasper.

 

He looked around, a little uncomfortable as he was stared down by all six Avengers. It was Tony who reacted first, stepping forward with a little frown on his face. “Jasper, I gave you that code for emergencies only. It’s eight a.m., what the hell are you doing here,”

Steve whipped around in shock and hissed “you gave him the house-code?” Just as Jasper jumped forward and said “but this is really, really important! I think I’ve done it, Tones, I think I’ve actually solved the issue that’s been holding us back, you’ve gotta come with me right now, you need to see this-“

“Jesus fucking _Christ,_ what is your goddamn _problem?_ ” Steve cut in before Jasper could finish, slamming down his hands against the table so hard that a crack zipped through from one half to the other.

This was too far. Jasper was _in their house,_ calling Tony _‘Tones’,_ and walking forward with his arm outstretched as if he was going to grab for _Steve’s boyfriend’s hand._

“I don’t know who the fuck you think you are, walking in on us at 8 in the fucking morning like you have every right to be here, or constantly dragging Tony away when he’s in the middle of doing something else, or the fucking _god-awful_ suggestive comments you make when he can’t hear you, but I’ve had enough,” Steve could hear his voice grow steadily, until he was outright yelling at the other man, stepping forward menacingly and feeling a twisted pleasure in watching Jasper take a step in the opposite direction, back toward the door.

“Steve, Steve- what the hell, chill out,” a hand grabbed at his arm and tugged him back, and he turned around to look at Tony, glaring at him in confusion.

“No, I’m not gonna fucking ‘chill out’ when that asshole is for some reason, stood in our fucking kitchen while _we_ _eat breakfast,”_

“Steve, what the fuck, don’t talk to him like that, he’s here because I let him be here, I gave him the goddamn code,”

“And I would really, _really_ like to know why,” Steve hissed, glancing at the mark on Tony’s neck he’d spotted when Tony had wandered back in to the tower a few minutes ago, that he had just assumed was a work-related injury.

 

He really wasn’t sure if he knew what it was any more.

 

Tony stopped, staring dumbly at Steve for a few seconds, before turning around to everyone else, who was looking intensely uncomfortable- except Jasper, who Steve noticed was trying to hide his smug little grin behind his hand.

“Everyone. Out,” Tony said quietly, and everyone followed without a question, shooting them worried glances as they stood up.

Jasper didn’t look like he was going anywhere; he was stood tapping his foot impatiently at the edge of the room, as if this was simply an inconvenience to him.

“You better get out of my fucking sight, before I do something I’m gonna regret,” Steve growled, and for a second, Jasper looked as if he were actually about to take him up on it- but then Natasha simply walked over and grabbed him by the shirt collar, dragging him away with no more than a few muffled complaints.

The door shut with a quiet click, and then it was just the two of them. Steve could hear himself breathing, and he knew his heart was racing. Tony- well, Tony looked furious, stood rigidly on the other side of the kitchen, hands gripping a nearby chair so tightly his knuckles were white against the woodwork.

“Ok, so first thing’s first- what the actual fuck was that about, Steve?” Tony said sharply.

Steve laughed bitterly, shaking his head because _seriously?_ He had to answer that question? Was Tony really that dense? Or was he just playing stupid, at this point?

“That was me, finally losing my shit with the asshole that you’re so very keen to spend all your time with these days, for whatever goddamn reason that may be.”

“What the fuck did Jasper ever do to you? He’s been nothing but polite and nice, and yet here you are-“

“Nothing but polite? _Nice?_ ” Steve shouted incredulously, “Tony- he’s a fucking tool. He goes around, acting like he doesn’t care for anything or anyone but himself and his precious goddamn project, waltzing in all confident and charismatic and as if he owns the place. Tony- he was _in our home._ He’s one of your employees and he’s _in our home._ And then there’s the fact that he’s only nice to the people he can use; everyone else can go fuck themselves as far as he cares. We all see it, Tony, except you! Because you’ve been too busy with him to have so much as a conversation with us in the past three weeks!”

Tony had gone completely rigid, eyes widening in something that Steve could only describe as horror as he breathed in sharply and looked at Steve as if he’d just insulted JARVIS, or something.

Steve didn’t want to think about why. He really, really didn’t.

“He’s a good guy, Steve- and we’ve been working on something that could revolutionise the energy business- it’s important shit, and I’m sorry if I’m not around to boost your ego 24/7, but it’s because I’ve got a _fucking job,_ ” Tony yelled, “maybe if you made a better effort to try and get to know him, you’d realise that actually he’s a good guy!”

“Oh, come on Tony; he’s an egotistical know-it-all who doesn’t care who he hurts to get what he wants. And for some reason, he’s got you wrapped around his finger,” Steve said bitterly.

Tony scoffed, shaking his head. “You have absolutely no idea how stupid you sound right now- like a five year old having a fucking tantrum because he’s not got all the attention,”

“Yes, Tony, yes! Because since ‘Jasper the Fucking Tech Guy’ came in- suddenly you’re never free, and you’re kicking me out so you can talk to him, and you’re letting him into our top-security house. _Why?_ So you can roll around with him for a bit- have a quick fuck while I’m gone? Is that what this is?” Steve hissed, the truth finally coming out as his anger spewed out in waves, advancing on Tony with a quick step and bowing his head low, so he was eye-to-eye with the other man.

Tony looked as if he’d just been struck, his eyes blown wide in shock and mouth open like a fish out of water.

 

 

That’s when Steve noticed it.  
And in those seconds, he felt it as his entire world crumbled apart in front of him.

 

 

“Steve- I don’t know what you’ve made yourself believe, but I swear-“

Steve cut him off with a laugh and a wave of his hand, and there was a brief interlude of nothing, before Steve finally did what he’d been wishing to do for a month and put his fist through the first available object he saw, hand hitting the wall with a sickening crack.

“You know the serum enhanced every sense of mine, right Tony? Including my sense of smell? Well here’s an interesting thing I’ve just found out,”

Steve stopped, staring at Tony and seeing every memory; every laugh and smile and kiss and moment Steve had known for sure that this was going to last the rest of his life reflected in those beautiful warm-chocolate eyes.

 

“You’re not wearing your aftershave. You’re wearing Jasper’s.”

 

He had turned on his heel and slammed the door behind him before Tony had even had the chance to say another word

 

 

**

 

 

They’d come here, once- Steve thought.

 

Some time a few summers ago. It had been cloudy and overcast, but Tony had dragged him out anyway; clamoring that he needed fresh air or his brain was going to die. And Steve- he’d just been happy that Tony was leaving his workshop after the forty-eight hour work bender he’d been pulling.

They’d fed the ducks. Tony named them all, and then screamed when they started chasing him. That was probably the first time Steve had realised he was in love.

Maybe that was why he’d chosen to come here in the first place. It was kinda... symbolic.

His hand hurt from where it had connected with the solid wall. There were probably a few fingers broken, and they had only stopped bleeding a few minutes ago. Steve should probably get that checked out.

 

He wished he’d been better.

 

This was his fault. Because Tony… Tony wouldn’t cheat. Ever. Not unless he was driven to seriously extreme measures. Not unless Steve had been neglecting him to the point where Tony had been so desperate for affection that he’d had to look somewhere else, because Steve was just so bad at giving it.  
He wished he was a genius. Right now- he’d trade his physical enhancements for a sharper mind. If it meant Tony wouldn’t leave him for someone better, he’d trade just about anything.

This was his fault.

And just like a switch had been flicked, Steve felt the dam burst within him, sucking in a jagged breath as the tears slipped down his cheeks, fast and frequent and stinging his eyes in the wind. The air wasn’t going into his lungs any more- a painful constriction in his lungs that reminded him of the days when his asthma had plagued him.

He wanted Tony. Tony could always make things better. Tony would hold his hand and rest his head on Steve’s shoulder and tell awful jokes or make bad puns until Steve had the strength to tell him to shut up.

 

He had been going to marry him. _God_ \- he had been going to marry the absolute _fuck_ out of Tony Stark. It had stopped being something Steve was even hesitant about, after a while. He’d just been so sure that it was going to happen.

 

He was an idiot. Of course Tony was going to realise he could do better. Steve was just a soldier- an experiment. For God’s sake, he knew absolutely nothing about the things Tony was most passionate about- what kind of boyfriend did that make him? He hadn’t listened properly- he hadn’t tried hard enough or been affectionate like Tony always was with him. Steve had always found it hard to do things like that, and Tony didn’t have a problem with it, so Steve had always just let him initiate that sort of stuff.

God, no wonder Tony wanted someone else. He must have just seemed cold. Uncaring.

Pulling out his phone with a shaking hand, Steve hit speed dial and put it up to his ear. Even if Tony didn’t want him anymore, he had to try. He had to.

The phone beeped once, twice, three times. And then went to answerphone.  
Taking a deep breath, Steve waited for the prompt, before beginning to speak into the phone.

“Tony. I… I just want to start with… I’m sorry,” Steve whispered, trying to take in enough air to make him at least vaguely understandable.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t good. Or attentive. I’m sorry I never listened when you would talk to me in the workshop- I’m sorry I wasn’t smart enough. I tried, Tony, believe me I tried _so hard._ When you started hanging out with Jasper, and I started realising that I wasn’t doing a good enough job, _I swear to you_ I tried to change. I did. I would read all sorts of science books for hours and hours on end in bed after you’d fallen asleep- I took you out on more dates and made an effort to listen more and I wasn’t so pushy. I see now that it wasn’t enough- three weeks of being better doesn’t change the two years of being shitty. I don’t blame you. Being in a relationship with a guy like me must suck.”

Steve didn’t know what else to say- there was so much. Part of him wanted to keep it going as long as possible, because he knew really, that once he ended this message, that would be the last communication he had with Tony for a long time. But he knew that he couldn’t- not really. Because this was no doubt going to hurt Tony just as much as it hurt him, and Steve didn’t want to make it worse.

He’d done enough already.

“I just want you to know- I love you, Tony. God, I… I fucking love you so much- and I can do better. _I swear_. I know I’m never going to be smart and interesting like Jasper is- but… fuck, Tony, I can try. I don’t care what you’ve done, I really don’t. Please, just…” Steve broke off, unable to hold off the sob that racked his body, “don’t leave me. Please. Don’t… don’t leave. I love you, _please-_ “  
Unable to go any further, he ended the call, pressing the phone into his face as he let the tears fall once again, and any semblance of calm vanished at that moment- the thought of what was going to happen next overwhelming him. He couldn’t breathe, could barely even see through the tears that were falling down his face.

He’d had everything. He’d had Tony. And now he’d just lost it all.

 

But he deserved it. This was his fault, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that was the first chapter- next one should be up in a few days, and it will be quite a lot longer. Comments are always greatly appreciated!!


	2. Chapter 2

Tony felt like someone had just punched him in the face.

His brain was screaming at him to go, to _move_ \- to sprint the fuck after Steve and set him straight before he started running with the absolutely laughable concept that Tony would ever, even for a second, just so much as _consider_ being unfaithful.

It was ridiculous. Stupid. Completely, utterly absurd… and totally something Steve would think, if given half a chance.

Fuck. He should have seen this coming.  
He knew that Steve had abandonment issues, and a sense of self-confidence that was surprisingly lacking. Everyone had expected that to be Tony’s job, and hell, to some extent it was. But Steve had always had his fair share of problems- it seemed even now, when he was healthy and strong and everyone practically fell over themselves to talk to him- he still couldn’t shake off that feeling of inferiority. He was constantly surprised that people would go up and introduce themselves, unable to get it around his head that people actually wanted to talk to him now. And he’d been outright floored when Tony had asked him out on their first date. He’d been convinced Tony was simply messing with him for at least half of it.

A lifetime of going unnoticed had that effect on people. And Tony… God, Tony had missed out on all the signs.

 

 _Jesus._ Steve had thought Tony was _cheating on him._

 

And the worst thing was, he could see why. If their positions were reversed, then Tony and his self-destructive thought process would have come to that conclusion long ago. He’d been spending as much spare time as possible with Jasper; constantly talking about them and their project. He’d cancelled dates and started staying over at SI for days on end. And now- _fuck,_ Tony could smell it on him right now- Steve had worked out that Tony was actually wearing Jasper’s aftershave. He hadn’t been able to find his own that morning, and he hadn’t showered in three days. Jasper had offered. Tony had accepted.

Oh, _fuck_. If Steve had already been wondering if something had been going on between them, what must that have looked like to him?

Sucking in a sharp, sudden breath, Tony pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes, cursing a blue-streak. He’d been so fucking _stupid._ It might have just been a drawn-out work spree to him, but if he looked at it from Steve’s point of view…

 

He had to fix this. Whatever it took.

 

Jumping to life suddenly, he fumbled around in the pocket of his jeans for his phone, praying that Steve was carrying his own on him. But as he checked each pocket, he remembered with a groan of despair that it was no longer there- instead it was lying on his desk where he’d left it. At SI.

He was fast beginning to feel the panic begin to curl around his heart as he stepped forward, unsure of where he was going, but unwilling to just stand there helplessly. He had messed everything up- he’d _warned_ Steve that something like this would happen, God, why did no one ever _listen to him_ when he tried telling them what a disaster he was?

His hand was shaking as he reached out for his jacket, intending to pull it on and run after Steve, wherever the hell he’d gone. But as he turned on his heel and jogged toward the door, he had to stop in his tracks when it opened for him.

For a wonderful second, Tony thought it would be Steve- returning so they could talk about this, and Tony could tell him how horribly sorry he was for scaring Steve like that; assure him that he would never, ever even _think_ about that sort of thing, not when he was so hopelessly in love with Steve in the first place.  
But his excitement was quickly shut down when someone who was definitely not Steve walked through the door.

  
“Hey- you okay?” Jasper asked, turning and leaning against the wall, a sympathetic look on his face.

 

And just like that- Tony saw it.

 

The hand that was running down his arm, the soft lick of his lips as his eyes trailed down Tony’s body- the expression, which showed sympathy on the surface, but disguised a look of something he could only describe as glee, hidden behind his eyes.

With a sudden gasp of realisation, Tony stumbled back, shoving Jasper’s arm off his own, eyes wide in shock. How the fuck had he _missed that?_ How… why the fuck was Jasper even doing it in the first place? He knew Tony was taken- Jesus, he talked about Steve to him enough.

He remembered with a jolt what Steve had yelled, just a few minutes ago, and his eyes narrowed even further as he glared at Jasper from a safe distance.

“What the _fuck_ did you tell Steve was going on between us?” He growled, feeling a stronger sense of rage than he was pretty sure he’d ever experienced before as he looked toward Jasper, who appeared entirely unfazed.

“Jesus, Tony, calm down. I don’t know what he was getting all angry about; they were only a few jokes. Not my fault he took them the wrong way,” Jasper shrugged, “listen, Tony- I know you’re upset, but I really think seeing what I’ve come up with might help you take your mind off things, relax you. Breakups are always hard, I get that-“

“Whoah whoah whoah, we’ve not broken up, why the fuck would you-“

Tony staggered to a halt, his brain finally connecting the dots, and his eyes widened in horror.

“Jesus... that’s been your fucking plan _all along,_ hasn’t it?” Tony hissed, his hand clamping around his mouth in shock.

Everything was coming together now. He could see it. The constant manipulation of his time. The occasions when Jasper needed him always somehow managing to coincide with Tony and Steve’s dates. The subtle jokes Jasper had made to Steve, simply reinforcing everything his boyfriend had been worrying about.

Jasper had offered up his aftershave. That wasn’t just a favour- he’d _known_ that Steve would notice it. The guy was a genius, after all.

“This was inevitable, Tony. And maybe… maybe breaking up with him is for the best. You don’t suit him; he’s too different to you. You’re- you’re a genius. He’s an idiot. You’re powerful and confident and everything he’s lacking- you don’t _belong_  with him. You should be with someone like me. I understand you, Tony,” Jasper said, stepping forward and reaching out for Tony’s hand.

Tony whirled back again, snatching his hand away like it was burning. “Don't you _dare_ talk about him like that. You’ve got no fucking clue- none at all- Steve might not be a crazy genius, but he’s certainly not an idiot. Unlike you: the guy trying to make a move on a man who _belongs to someone else,”_

Jasper, apparently only just becoming aware that the situation was not going how he had intended, stepped forward, catching Tony’s face in his hand. He opened his mouth to speak- but the words never left his throat as Tony shoved him hard in the sternum, sending him slamming into the wall.

“Don’t fucking _touch_ me,” Tony spat, “Jesus- I felt sorry for you. You told me your sob story; wound me around your little finger just like Steve said, and I was the idiot who fell for it all. In reality, all you are is a manipulative piece of shit, aren’t you. You knew I was with someone else, and yet you still tried your goddamn hardest to ruin the best thing in my life and get in my pants while you were at it,”

Tony took a deep breath, hands clenched against his sides in a desperate attempt to stop them flying forward and knocking the glasses right of that asshole’s face. He stepped forward, watching with a twisted sort of pleasure as Jasper’s eyes widened a little in fear and he started backing up, his shoulders hitting the wall with a dull thud.

“You disgust me. Now get out of my house, and get out of my business. You’re fired,”

“But what about all our-“

“Keep it. Take full ownership. I don’t want it- it’s not like I can’t come up with something better than that eventually. Now move- you’re blocking the door.”

“Tony, _please,”_ Jasper tried in a last-ditch attempt, his voice small and afraid now, lacking its usual confidence.

Tony almost wanted to laugh. Jasper had obviously not been expecting that sort of reaction, but his arrogance had blinded him. Until now, anyway.  
For a genius, the guy was thick as mud. Steve would never have made that mistake- he was far too clever for that. Not that he would ever, _ever_ sink that low anyway.

“JARVIS; make sure he leaves,” Tony called out, not waiting to hear the reply before shoving Jasper out of the way and leaving through the door.

He had a boyfriend to find.

 

**

 

There was a message for him on his answering machine. That was the first thing Tony noticed when he picked his phone up from the desk it had been laying on.

The second thing he noticed was that it was from Steve.

Fast as lightning, Tony had the phone pressed up against his ear, free hand playing anxiously with the buttons on his shirt as he waited for the message to come through. At least Steve had called; that meant he was okay (because the world was a dangerous place for an unarmed Avenger and, well, Tony worried).

When the message actually began relaying through his speaker, however, he quickly took that back. Things were obviously far, far from okay.

“Oh no, baby, _no,_ ” Tony choked out into the empty room, feeling like all the air had been pushed from his lungs as he listened to Steve apologise for not being smart enough; how he’d been working late into the night to try and be cleverer, so that _Tony wouldn’t get bored of him._

There was a brief pause, where he heard Steve take a few shuddering breaths, and then to his horror, began to _cry_ \- begging Tony to give him another chance, to stay with him for a little while longer, as if Steve needed time to prove himself or something- and Tony felt his heart as it broke into a hundred different pieces.

“ _Fuck_ … Steve, you _idiot_ , _of course_ I fucking love you. Of course I- God, don’t _think that, please,”_ he whispered, feeling the hot sting of tears behind his own eyes as he pressed the phone tight against his ear and wished he could take the last month back. Take back every distraction, every missed date and each night spent at SI rather than by Steve’s side where he belonged.

Every single little thing that he hadn’t even thought twice about at the time had just been digging that shard of self-doubt further and further into Steve’s mind, until he was convinced that Tony thought he was dull; that he was going to leave for something better.

Like there was anything better than Steve out there.

When it had reached the end- after Tony had had to listen to the total desperation and pain in Steve’s voice as he begged Tony not to abandon him- he felt the vague sensation of his knees hitting the floor with a dull thump; back pressed up against the edge of the desk and the phone still held up to his ear.

He didn’t even know where to begin with trying to fix this.

Steve’s fear of abandonment ran deep, but his principals ran a hell of a lot deeper, and it wasn’t going to be long before he snapped out of the Begging Stage and went right to the Disappearing Stage instead. And if he ran off- went deep undercover- Tony didn’t know if he would be able to even find him or not.

He couldn’t let that happen. Ever.

Of course, he could hold out for the prospect that Steve would go back to the tower; to get all his things and yell at Tony in the process- but Tony highly doubted it. He knew Steve, and he knew that he wasn’t one to cause a scene. He’d just leave, without so much as a word, and Tony would never even see him go.

But, like he had said; he wasn’t going to let that happen.

Steve had his phone on him. And that made everything so, so much simpler for a computer genius like Tony. Taking a deep breath and composing himself, he finally pulled the phone away from his ear and began searching.  
He didn’t care if it took him hours, days, weeks. He was going to find Steve Rogers, and he was going to set this right.

 

 

** ___________________Steve____________________ **

 

 

There was a garage at SHIELD where agents could take out unregistered cars for various uses- enough gas in them to get them a good long way away.  
That’s the first place Steve had gone after he’d finished the call. And now he was half way across New York, reaching the outskirts of New Jersey.

He didn’t know where he was going. Just…away, was all he cared about. He needed to be out of New York, at the very least. There were too many painful memories here.

He’d thrown his phone in the trash. He didn’t want Tony trying to find him.

 

The road he raced down was quiet and clear, and Steve kind of hated it. The silence made everything in his head so much louder; to the point where Steve had to switch on the appalling radio that lost connection every four second and played nothing but country music, just so he could escape the stillness.

He felt empty.

There was no way he could go back. Despite what he’d said earlier- he knew that in reality, he wasn’t going to stay where he wasn’t wanted. He could see that now. There was no point. Tony had _cheated on him,_ and that was _bad;_ he should be angry, he should want to scream and yell at the person who he had trusted, and who had broken that trust into a thousand pieces-

But really?  
He just wanted to go home.

He wanted to go back a month; to stop Tony from ever meeting Jasper, to stop him from finally realising that he could do better and pulling away from Steve. He wanted to curl up in Tony’s arms and sob, because he had always been there for him without a word of judgement when he’d needed it before.

There was no one left to care, now.

And he knew, logically, that that wasn’t true. The rest of the team still cared about him, even if they did find him a little dull. They’d want to know where he was. And of course, he’d come back when he was needed for missions and other duties.

But driving down the empty road right now- he’d never remembered a time he had felt this alone.

 

Shaking his head of the thought and biting down hard on his lip, Steve tried to loosen his grip on the wheel so as not to imprint his hands onto it. It was a pretty fruitless effort- there were already deep indents all over the thing.

Fuck. He needed a distraction.

And then, as if answering to his thoughts, Steve suddenly noticed a movement out of the corner of his eye. Flicking a quick glance over at the rearview mirror, he watched as a flashy red sports car veered wildly on to the road he was driving down from the turn Steve had just passed. He could see it continue at the crazily fast speed, gaining on him slowly with each second.

Steve was on alert instantly. Whether it be someone after him personally, or just being a reckless idiot; he intended to get in their way. And then teach the moron a lesson or two about how to drive, for starters.

Pursing his lips in annoyance, he glanced at the mirror again, hearing the loud revving of the engine as it sped toward him.

There was a second or two of silence as he stared dumbly up at the mirror, eyes catching on a familiar blue jumper he had used to own before it was stolen away by the clothes-thief he'd been dating and never seen again. And then, finally, he gasped loudly, the realisation hitting him like a punch to the gut as he registered Tony’s face out of the reflection.

“ _Fuck,”_ he whispered to himself, pressing his foot down hard on the accelerate and stubbornly looking ahead at the road.

He couldn’t bear talking to Tony. Not right now.

It seemed, however, Tony wasn’t quite getting the message; his much faster, better quality car catching up with Steve’s until they were shoulder-to-shoulder, their cars taking up both sides of the road in what was probably a very illegal way.

He watched out of the corner of his eye as Tony wound down his window, and then signalled for Steve to do the same. At first, he didn’t take his eyes off the path ahead of him- but he was forced to turn in horror as he noticed Tony begin to unfasten his seatbelt and crawl over to the passenger seat.

“What the fuck are you _doing_ , you’re gonna crash the fucking car, oh my _god!”_ Steve yelled, angrily pressing the button to wind his window down.

“It’s fine, don’t worry, I’ve got JARVIS running autopilot,” Tony assured him, waving it away before opening his mouth to speak again.

“No. Tony- don’t say a word. I don’t wanna hear it, do you get that? You're _insane;_ get back in the fucking car before you get yourself _killed_ , Jesus Christ!” Steve hissed loudly over the roar of wind that was racing between their cars as they both drove at 90 miles an hour down the abandoned road.

“Steve, no- you’ve got to listen to me, okay, please-“

“No!”

“Steve, I’m begging you. Pull over, you’ve got everything wrong, you need to let me-“

“ _NO!_ LEAVE ME THE FUCK _ALONE,_ TONY!” Steve screamed, feeling the waver in his own voice as he turned his head back to the road, willing himself not to break down again.

“Pull the damn car over, Steve, or I’m climbing in through the windows,”

Steve shot him a glance, noticing the firm set of Tony’s jaw and the determined look in his eyes, and didn’t doubt that he would follow that threat through.  
So he shut the window and hit the brakes, watching Tony speed ahead of him before turning the car around and heading back the way he came, hoping Tony got the idea.

He didn’t _want_ to talk about this. He didn’t want Tony to explain his actions; that would make everything so much worse. Just seeing him turn up like that had made the fragile beginnings of his emotional wall crumble to dust- he knew he wouldn’t last if Tony actually managed to get him to talk.

Not sparing another glance back, Steve raced back the way he’d come, skidding around the corner Tony had met him at and looking grimly at yet more empty space. It seemed it would take a while before he reached the urban areas of New Jersey.

His hands were shaking again; he had to keep them firmly gripping on the wheel in order to stop the movement. God, everything was such a mess in his head- he was teetering dangerously close to the edge of a total breakdown and he knew it- the road was going fuzzy and he couldn’t concentrate on anything other than trying to contain the sob building at the back of his throat-

 

Someone knocked on his window.

 

Steve turned to face the passenger seat and saw Tony, speeding along with him in the suit and giving an awkward wave as he noticed Steve staring at him.

He made a _‘can I come in’_ gesture with his hand. Steve shook his head vigorously. Tony opened the door anyway.

Furiously, Steve gritted his teeth and slammed the brakes once again. This time, Tony took the door with him as he was left behind.

“What the fuck is _wrong with you,_ Tony- if someone tells you they want to be left alone, you don’t chase after them in your _flying suit,_ oh my _God-_ “ Steve kicked the door open, slamming it so hard as he left that the whole frame concaved. He didn’t even notice, stalking toward Tony angrily, “and did you leave your fucking car in the middle of some random road, obstructing the rest of the traffic? Of course you did, that’s just _so_ like you, isn’t it- “

“Steve, please just… give me a minute to explain-“ Tony started, walking out of the suit as he jogged forward to meet Steve in the middle.

“Explain _what?”_ He was screaming now, hands flying wildly through the air, “explain that I wasn’t good enough? Too pushy, too boring and old-fashioned and stupid? _I know,_ Tony- I know. You… Jesus, _you cheated on me,”_ he choked, feeling the words waver into nothingness as he clenched his eyes shut, “that’s pretty conclusive proof for anyone to know they’re not enough.”

Tony was watching him; a horrified stare on his face as he walked forward a few more steps, but Steve shook his head and jerked backward violently, turning his head away and running a weary hand across his forehead.

“I didn’t cheat on you, Steve,”

“Oh, don’t lie to me Tony-“

 _“I swear_ to you, baby. I swear on… on everything I am. On Iron Man, on your life- God knows it matters more to me than my own. I would never, ever do that to you. _Ever,”_ Tony said quietly, his own voice sounding almost as pained as Steve’s own.

Steve hadn’t been expecting Tony to completely deny anything happening, and he had to admit it threw him off a bit. Tony had flaws, yes- but cowardice wasn’t one of them.  
And Steve wanted to believe him. He wanted it so, so badly. But…

“What about- well, _everything,_ Tony. Every time you’d miss our dates and every time you wouldn’t even come home to bed at night and god, _I could smell him all over you,_ what the hell am I supposed to think of that?”

Tony was silent for a moment, before stepping forward and reaching out for Steve’s hand, holding tightly even when he tried (admittedly, not as forcefully as he could have) to pull away.

“Steve. I know how this looks, but I need you to trust me,” he pleaded, “I’m going to explain everything to you, from the beginning, okay? But I was _not_ unfaithful- that’s the first thing you need to know.”

A big part of Steve didn’t want to hear it. He didn’t think his heart could take any more emotional trauma, to be honest.  
Then again, Tony was looking at him so earnestly, his slender fingers wrapped around Steve’s in a way that just felt so _right;_ so much like home and normalcy that Steve was desperate to curl further into it.

But he couldn’t. He had to stick to his principals.

“Okay. Fine. You’ve got thirty seconds, and then I’m leaving, and you are _not_ going to be following me” Steve nodded stiffly, pulling away from Tony’s hand but turning back around all the same, until they were face to face once again.

  
Tony opened his mouth, and then snapped it shut again, looking for a good place to start. “I… I just… it’s complicated, but…um-“

“Listen, Tony, if you’re just trying to think up a lie on the spot, I’m done here,” Steve snarled, spinning on his heel and beginning to march his way back to the car.

“He reminded me of myself, okay!” Tony blurted, jogging back up to Steve, “he reminded me of the guy I was when I was his age; too smart and too ambitious for his own good. And what can I say; it just drew me to him. I’m self-centred like that,”

Tony paused, and Steve noticed the exhausted look in his eyes that only came with extreme stress and severe insomnia.

“He opened up to me- just little things, but things that would make me think:  _God, I remember feeling that way._ He told me he didn’t belong anywhere- that he hated his old man because he had always felt as if he had needed to prove himself. And… I don’t know- I just wanted to help, okay! I knew what it was like to go through that shit, to be so desperate to be normal, to be accepted, but knowing it’ll never happen because you’re just _too fucking clever_ for people your age to understand.”

Tony laughed, and shook his head sadly. “He struck a nerve, I guess. That’s why I was all- um- well… when you’d say all that stuff about him… I just knew what it was like to be on the receiving end of it. It’s not nice.”

Steve remembered what he’d said about Jasper, in the midst of his temper. He remembered the hurt look on Tony’s own face that he’d thought had only been there because he was offended on Jasper’s behalf.  
Things were never that simple when it came to Tony, though.

He opened his mouth to speak, but Tony waved him away with a shake of his head. “No, no- I’m not looking for pity here, Steve- I’m just trying to explain. But… yeah, I guess that’s why I was spending a lot of time with him. I was trying to show him that he could belong somewhere, because he’d just- well- he’d seemed so _lost_. And smart people can do really dumb things when they’re lost.”

Tony’s eyes hardened and he clenched his jaw, looking off into the distance. “Guess that’s what he wanted me to think, though. It was all just a trick- you were right, Steve, I just didn’t see it. He was just trying to get me to feel sorry for him, so that I’d spend more time with him, i suppose. I’m so sorry- I should’ve known he was interested, but _I swear_... I swear nothing happened, okay- the moment I realised, I confronted him about it. And then kicked him out.”

Steve was quiet for a moment, trying to process all the new information in his head. It wasn’t sinking in- simply floating around aimlessly in the back of his mind. Whatever he did, he couldn’t get the thought of Tony- _his Tony_ \- kissing Jasper, or going on secret dates with Jasper, or fucking Jasper in those nights when he’d failed to come home-

“Steve,” Tony was closer now, his hands moving up to cup Steve’s face soothingly, fingers turning gentle circles around his temples, “there is no-one, _no-one_ in this world that I would ever pick over you. There could be a thousand people in a room, ten times smarter or funnier or hotter than Jasper, and you know who I'd run to? The six-foot super soldier stood looking awkward in the corner. And it's been like that since the goddamn moment you smiled at me. Please, don’t ever think you’re not good enough. And you have no idea how sorry I am that I made you feel like that. Because you are- _Jesus fuck,_ you are. You’re smart as _hell-_ ” Tony paused, standing on his tiptoes to press a kiss against Steve’s cheek,

“and _so_ interesting; you’re a 90 year-old time-travelling artist who saves the world, for God’s sake- ” another kiss, on the opposite cheek,

“and you care about me; you make me eat and sleep and behave like a normal human being. You ground me in ways no one else can or ever will-” the next landed on his forehead, where Tony had to stand on the very tips of his toes to reach- and Steve could feel himself melting into it with every touch, the slow realisation that _yes, Tony was telling the truth_ somehow pulling the last grains of strength from his body, until his arms were wrapped tightly around Tony’s waist and his head was buried into the depths of Tony’s neck and _fuck,_ he was crying again- big, ugly sobs that racked through his whole body and made his throat hurt.

He trusted Tony. With everything he had. And so as soon as Tony had said it; Steve knew it was the truth.

“ _Oh, baby,_ I’m so sorry- I just got carried away with my work, you know what I’m like. Please don’t cry; it’s okay. I’m yours, and only yours. That’s all I ever will be, I promise,” Tony whispered, his own voice trembling dangerously as he peppered kisses across Steve’s face, on his hands, eyes and neck and any expanse of skin his mouth could reach, while Steve simply cried and mumbled incoherently, wiping at the stray tears with the back of his hands.

God, he was so relieved. It had all just been a misunderstanding. Tony still loved him.

“Oh, and I actually am wearing his aftershave. It didn’t, y’know, rub off on me, I just didn’t have anything else and I smelt like three days in the lab so he offered me some of his. That’s all, I swear, you’ve gotta believe me Steve, I-“

“I do. I believe you. I… Fuck, Tony, I’m sorry I didn’t trust you, I just… you can do so much better than me and I wouldn’t even blame you, goddamnit I just- I panicked, but I should have had faith in you an-“

“Whoah whoah, hold up a moment,” Tony interrupted, his head tilting to the side in confusion, “In what goddamn weirdass universe could I ever do better than _you?”_

Steve just shrugged his shoulders weakly and swept a strand of windswept hair back behind Tony’s ear, “well- I mean... you’re so… _you._ I can’t keep up on the good days, and most times I don’t even listen when you talk about your science- I mean what kind of boyfriend _does that_ \- but I swear I’m trying, okay, and I’m gonna be more attentive, even if I don’t understand what you’re saying-“

Steve was cut off by the almost frantic press of Tony’s mouth against his own, and he inhaled in surprise but didn’t complain as he snaked his arms around the smaller man’s waist once again and held on for dear life, feeling the warmth there and just being grateful that _he still had this._

 

Tony’s lips were chapped and his beard tickled against Steve’s chin and his hands were softly running circles around Steve’s temples again and it was _perfect._ He couldn’t help smiling, feeling his teeth pressing against Tony’s mouth as they kissed on an empty highway in the middle of nowhere.

 

He couldn’t imagine his life without Tony there with him. He didn’t even want to.

“I don’t know what the fuck kind of poison Jasper was whispering in your ear over these past few weeks, but I’m telling you now Steve, it’s bullshit. All of it. This whole mess; it was my fault. I was the one who fucked up here, not you. What the hell has made you think that I don’t think you’re smart enough for me?” Tony asked incredulously.

Steve shrugged again, looking down at his feet. “I… he just sort of implied that you had- uh- you’d told him I was stupid.”

The look of pure distain on Tony’s face was enough for Steve to know immediately that Jasper had been lying.

“Listen here, Steve, the only thing I ever said about your mental capabilities were that they were some of the best I’d ever seen. Admittedly, I told him that you’d been struggling to catch up with the new world, yeah, and that we were still working on bringing your general knowledge back up to date, but then I went on to talk for almost ten goddamn minutes about how well you were doing. It’s not… I don’t even know… why the _fuck_ …” Tony trailed off into a series of frustrated hand gestures, and Steve laughed fondly at the sight.

“So you really don’t- it doesn’t bother you that I don’t get what you’re talking about?” He asked quietly, because he was a masochist like that.

“Steve. Please- I need you to understand that I don’t talk to you expecting you to know what the fuck I’m saying. _I don’t_ even know what the fuck I’m saying most of the time. I talk to you because you’re there- because I can bounce my bullshit off you until I come up with something useful. Your presence alone is what makes me able to work better. Did you know that ever since you started coming down to the lab when you first moved in, my work rate increased by 37 percent?. I don’t… I don’t need you to be a genius, Steve. I just need you to be _you._ To be there, so I have someone to make out with when I finally get something right,” Tony explained with a little smile, fingers stroking softly through the strands of Steve’s hair.

“I also need you to feed me when I forget to do it myself- do you how annoying it was having to get up and make myself meals while you were trying to ‘not be pushy’ and get in my way? Very annoying.”

Steve couldn’t help the tiny little look of disbelief that crossed over his face at Tony’s words, and he immediately felt guilty when his lover looked upset- as if Steve’s inner anxieties and inability to talk about his emotions were somehow Tony’s fault. But then Tony leaned up and kissed it away enthusiastically; a promise that they would work through whatever this was.

“I don’t know how long it’s gonna take to get all those weird thoughts out of your head, Steve, but I’m gonna do it if it kills me, okay- because I love you and you’re the most important person in my life- the only person I ever want to fall into bed with at night and wake up with again in the morning. You’re… you’re my _everything,_ Steve, and I need you to see that. I’m gonna _make_ you see it,” Tony vowed, shaking his head and looking a little incredulously at Steve, his own eyes surprisingly wet.

“You know, I never expected it was going to be me having to reassure you that you’re good enough. Thought that was my role in this relationship,” he said, after a few beats of silence, and Steve grinned shakily, pulling Tony in and clutching him tightly against his chest.

“I love you,” he mumbled, hoping that those three words could convey every feeling he could never say out loud.

Tony’s face was pressed against Steve’s neck, and so he could feel the little smile that expanded against his skin. “I get it. And I love you too,”

 

“Do you love me enough to do me a favour?” Steve asked after a moment, breaking away to grin mischievously down at Tony, who raised an eyebrow in question.

“What sort of favour are we talking about here?”

“You’ll find out. Just… let’s go home, for now. I just remembered how much I hate New Jersey.”

Tony laughed, and pulled Steve’s hand toward his suit. “You’re a Brooklyn kid through and through, aren’t you? Okay then, I’ll give you a lift to my car. We can get the piece of shit you were driving toed back,”

“Sounds good to me,” Steve said, and then he was pulled into two strong, metal arms and lifted high into the sky. “Hey- how did you find me, anyway? I tossed my phone in the trash before I set off.”

There was silence as Steve stared questioningly at the blank metal faceplate. “I... may have hacked a few databases. And CCTV. Mainly SHIELD, mind you, but it told me you’d taken out a car from the garage. Then it was just a matter of accessing all the roadside cameras and following your path.”

“I’d really hate it if you were a supervillain,”

“Well to be honest, Steve, I really don’t think you were trying your hardest to remain hidden. And if you were, I suggest getting a few lessons from Natasha.”

Steve laughed and shut his eyes, knocking his forehead against the faceplate. He felt Tony push back against him, his hands holding Steve tightly as they flew through the sky toward Tony’s car.  
This was real. Steve felt happier than he had in so long- an overwhelming wave of pure joy as he clutched at the suit and let a tiny little sob of relief escape him.

Apparently hearing the noise, Tony suddenly pulled up, stopping their flight until they were just hovering, 50 feet in the air. Steve barely had time to open his mouth and ask what he was doing before Tony had lifted the faceplate and kissed him soundly.

“Yours, remember. Always. And ‘m gonna remind you, every night-“ Tony kissed him again, purposefully rubbing his beard across Steve’s face and beaming when Steve started giggling, “-and every morning-” this time it was a nip at the shell of Steve’s ear, “-and every single time you ever need me to, okay?”

He stopped, looking at Steve earnestly, and then smiled softly when Steve just nodded and let his head drop down on to Tony’s shoulder.  
“ ‘kay, Shellhead. Let's head back. I want to go back to bed.”

"Do I get to join you?"

"You get to join me."

_"Excellent."_

 

 

**

 

 

Stark Industries was bustling with its usual activity as Steve and Tony arrived there an hour later. Lunch break had just finished, and so everyone was walking the corridors, getting back to their offices.  
Steve hoped Jasper was still milling about somewhere.

 

“JARVIS, you got eyes on him?" Steve asked into Tony's phone.

“He is currently collecting the last of his personal items from his office, Captain Rogers,” Steve heard JARVIS answer.

Good. That was perfect.

“Ok, you go on ahead. I just need to go fetch something, I’ll be right with you,” Steve told Tony, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek before beginning to jog off in the direction of the elevator.

“Much as I would not be particularly opposed to seeing him get punched in the face, you’re not actually gonna, are you? I would really like to not deal with any lawsuits right now,” Tony called out after him, still in the dark as to what was going on after Steve’s lips had remained firmly shut for the duration of the journey back.

Steve laughed, and turned around briefly a he continued his walk down the corridor. “No, I’m not gonna punch him. Just keep him talking until I arrive, okay?”

“What the fuck do you want me to say to him?”

“I don’t know, I’m sure you’ll think of something- talk to him about what underwear you think the rest of the team are wearing today, if you can’t think of anything else,”

“I take everything back. I hate you,”

Steve laughed, and blew Tony an exaggerated kiss through the air before turning the corridor and jogging toward the elevator.

 

 

**

 

 

A few minutes later, when Steve spotted Tony having a heated debate with Jasper on the other side of the corridor, he had to fight down the overwhelming urge to throw the object in his hand down the hall and hit the bastard in the fucking face.

_Asshole._

He shook his head and took a deep breath, before beginning to walk down the corridor toward them both. He didn’t even turn it into a sprint when Jasper stepped into Tony’s space yet again, and tried to make another grab for Tony’s hand.

Of course, when Jasper noticed Steve, he quickly stepped away and tucked his hands firmly behind his back; the first sign of fear on his face that Steve had ever seen.

“I swear Rogers, if you touch me I, I am gonna sue you _so hard-“_

“Hey, fuckwad- you forgot something,” Steve interrupted, tossing the Rubik’s cube at Jasper and being unable to hide the laugh when he failed to catch it. “Oh, and also? You’re the last person on heaven or Earth that I’d touch, thank you very much. _You,_ however…”

Steve ambled forward the last few steps, eyes fixed on Tony, who was looking toward him in amusement. He saw it out of the corner of his eyes as Jasper opened his mouth yet again; but Steve didn’t care- too busy picking Tony up by the ass and pushing him against the wall.

His mouth clashed with Tony’s, who made a surprised noise in the back of his throat, but rolled with it all the same, his hands coming up to wind around Steve’s neck and grab his hair.  
Steve gasped a little, and pulled at Tony’s bottom lip with his teeth, before releasing and lowering his face until he was down at Tony’s neck and sucking at the exposed skin there, his teeth scraping along Tony’s throat and feeling the delighted noises that his boyfriend made as he bit down just below the man’s jaw.

Briefly, he spared a look toward Jasper, who was beginning to turn around and walk away with an angry roll of his eyes, and Steve didn’t even try holding back the laughter this time, breaking away from kissing Tony in order to chuckle loudly. Hearing the noise, Jasper turned his head, and if possible looked even more put-out at the sight of Steve laughing gleefully into Tony’s shoulder.  
Probably pissed that his plan hadn’t worked quite as well as he’d hoped.

“Yeah, Jasper… this is the sort of thing you’d have to be competing against. And, full offence intended here, but you wouldn’t even come close,” Tony called out, catching Steve’s eye at the last part and smiling softly, his fingers stroking softly down the nape of Steve’s neck.

Jasper glared, and then snorted theatrically, “you know what- I don’t know what I was thinking; going after a slut like you, I guess I need to lift my standards a bit more-“

 

Oh. _That was it._

 

Steve saw red, dropping Tony back on his and spinning toward Jasper, raising his hand and stepping forward. _Fuck_ the lawsuit, _fuck_ the fact he was a civilian- that guy was getting what was coming to him: a broken nose. But before he could bring his hand down, Tony had grabbed his wrist, tugging him swiftly back, despite his growls of protest.

“Not worth it, babe. You’ll get into so much shit for doing that, and you know it,” he said quietly, while Jasper just pulled his trademark Smug Grin from a few steps away.

Tony rubbed a soothing thumb across Steve’s still-aching knuckles and then turned toward the man who had done his damned hardest to ruin their relationship, smiling his own (classier, obviously) brand of Smug Grin.

 

Right before socking him in the face.

 

 _“I,_ however, have no such reputation to uphold,” Tony stated, flexing his hand as Jasper went flying across the room, the strength of Tony’s punch being enough to send him careering into the nearby wall with a sharp crack.

“Unngghhh- Oh my- _you broke my nose!”_ Jasper accused, rolling pathetically on the floor, a shaking hand rising upward to feel gently at the bleeding mess in the middle of his face.

Tony shrugged, turning his back on Jasper and moving in on Steve instead, hands playing idly with the collar of his boyfriend’s shirt. “Eh. You made Steve sad. It’s a justified reaction,” Tony’s attention moved upward, gazing at Steve with a hungry look in his eyes, “now; back to business. Keep doing what you were doing twenty seconds ago, soldier, I don’t have all day.”

The grin on Steve’s face was bright enough to light the city up for a year as he happily obliged, hoisting Tony up by his ass yet again and pressing him up against the wall as their lips met.

“I’m suing, asshole!”

Tony briefly lifted his hand from Steve’s face to give Jasper a sarcastic thumbs up, and then got back to running it through Steve’s hair, groaning in delight as Steve pressed harder, not an inch of space between their bodies as he licked into Tony’s mouth desperately.

Steve was vaguely aware of Jasper storming off, muttering curses and insults that he probably assumed Steve couldn’t hear- but to be honest, Jasper was now the last thing on his mind. He had Tony tugging at his hair in a way the bastard _knew_ drove him crazy, and that was enough to keep him solely focused on the man in front of him.

 

“So… making out with me in front of him? That was all your big master plan was?” Tony mumbled into Steve’s hair.

“Mm hmm,” Steve answered, trying to split his attention between speaking coherently and continuing to give Tony the biggest hickey of his life. “Just wanted to put the point across, y’know. That you’re mine. That only I can kiss you, or hold you, or go on dates with you-“

“I’m yours. All yours, baby, I promise,” Tony whispered, eyes fluttering shut and his head tipping back to lean against the wall, allowing Steve better access to his throat.

“I know,”

“You sure?” And there was a note of seriousness in Tony’s voice, as he opened his eyes to look down at Steve.

He smiled back up in reply, his eyes roaming Tony’s face in wonder. He would still never know how he had managed to land himself someone like that; so beautiful and bright and wonderful as Tony was.

“Yeah. I’m sure.”

Tony’s face broke into a beam, and his hands moved to cup around Steve’s jaw, placing a soft kiss in the centre of his forehead. “Good. It’s not gonna stop me telling you, mind, but it’s still good.”

Steve let his eyes close and rested his head against Tony’s collarbone, exhaling contentedly as Tony played with his hair. He was exhausted from the emotional rollercoaster; god only knew how Tony was feeling.

Pulling away and finally letting Tony down off the wall despite his complaints, he entwined Tony’s fingers in with his own and smiled softly, noting with pleasure the flush on the other man’s cheeks and the steadily growing purple marks all over his neck.

“How’s your hand?” He asked, lifting it up to eye-level and taking a cursory look. It didn’t seem too bad; Tony knew how to throw a punch, after all, but it was still red and angry-looking.

“Aches like a bitch. Totally worth it though. Lawsuit and all,” Tony said vehemently.

Steve laughed, kissing the knuckles gently before covering it with his own hand and letting them both fall back to their sides. “C'mon, let's go home for real this time,” he said, tugging them forward down the hall.

Tony followed happily, and Steve couldn’t resist pressing yet more kisses against Tony’s face, feeling gladder that he’d been wrong than he ever had before in his life. Tony was giggling, telling him to _keep moving and leave me alone, Rogers, you pest_ , and Steve was just grinning like a dope, his mouth all over Tony’s face as Tony ran down the corridor, yelling like a child when Steve caught up and poked him in the ribs, sending him jerking violently back into Steve’s arms.

He looked down at the mess of windswept tangles under his chin, and for the first time in so long- he knew for sure that this was where he truly belonged.  
By Tony’s side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this filled your quota of jelous!Steve for the day- I love hearing your feedback, so comments are always greatly appreciated! Thank you for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> check out my tumblr @itsallavengers and feel free to bug me with questions :)


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